Loving Myself – Day 12


As I look back on my life I realize I hold no grudges.  Ok…there are times where it might take a while for me to be ready to let go of something; but isn’t that true with all of us?  I mean, isn’t that part of the whole “healing process”?

No, I’m a forgiver and truly forgive those who have done me wrong.  Now, does that mean I want them in my life and will be their best friend?  Not necessarily; but I will usually let it go.  Also, I have found that I’m not as judgmental as most.  When I look at a person, I look at the whole package.  If I were to look at me (or meet me) I would consider myself as very easy-going; without the labels.

This is a quality that I most definitely LOVE about myself; the fact that I can still be friends with, talk with and do for my ex-husband is something about me that I hold very dear.

Many of my friends think I’m crazy or that I’m being used, “Ann, why can’t you see that he is just using you?”, they would often say.  “You need to take a stand, stand firm with him.”  To which I would reply, “I love him. that’s never changed.  And let’s not forget who left whom.  Humor me, it’s the right thing to do…I know it and feel it.”  And the men I dated, I just knew what they were thinking – it was as if I could hear them saying, “she’s harboring feelings for him.”

I’m not!  I just feel, and always have felt that when you spend as much time together as we have – 21 years – you are now family and I don’t disown family.  Understand, he didn’t beat me; he was never cruel to me and I know he loves me – as I do him.  It’s just that I needed something (or someone) more and truthfully?  So did he, though he didn’t know it.

Yea, I’m pretty easy going and forgiving when it comes to people; which trait I love.  It allows me to open up and allow that much more variety in my life.  Life is about experiences; is it not?  So, let the games begin!

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